Just a small fraction of the spectacle that is Foreigner Street

It’s always interesting to peer through another culture’s looking glass onto your own and see just how perversely distorted things appear.  Without intending to be offensive, impersonations and approximations of things foreign to us rarely come off as complimentary to those being portrayed.  Think Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles for Hollywood’s skewed take on Asians for just two small examples.  It was only a matter of time before I found a few reverse examples of China’s view of the west, and apparently no place in China captures that view more bizarrely than Chongqing’s own Foreigner Street.

The lovely Lisa from Khabarovsk, Russia (where I would one day visit) quickly became one of my favorite foreigners in Chongqing.  Despite being one of my youngest friends, she’s sharp as a tack (top of her class this year, she managed to get a much-needed scholarship to stick around next year) and speaks English better than any of the non-native English speakers in China.  She managed to procure for herself a Portuguese boyfriend very early on, but being more serious-minded, he wasn’t interested in some of the things she wanted to do, leaving me as the surrogate exploring companion.  Fair enough — it’s good to have company when checking out new and perplexing environments.  She’s remarkably self-sufficient, confident and happy, despite her stories of growing up in Russia making it sound as though she was raised in what sounds to be near abject poverty.  In short, she’s been a good and interesting friend to have here.

Me, Lisa and our (only mildly reckless) motoche driver

Early on, we’d heard tales of the notorious “Foreigner Street,” where Chongqing attempted to recreate foreign architecture and lifestyles through a severely distorted mirror.  Little information is available about the place online, save for bizarre photos of surreal buildings and landscapes.  Originally a brainchild of the Mexin door company (one of the largest makers of doors in China if not the world), the theme park opened many years ago with little success.  It’s fairly out of the way for most foreigners to just stumble across it and the Chinese apparently (and with good reason) found it tacky.  Its popularity has picked up in recent years for some reason (maybe the birth of hipster irony in China?), though almost all foreign business have closed up shop, despite some incredible incentives from the owner.

Actual foreigners willing to open a business on Foreigner Street get three years rent-free — that includes both the storefront and lodging, leaving business owners to pay solely for basic supplies.  If it sounds too good to be true, it mostly is, due to one flaw that seems to be intrinsic to Chongqing if not to all of China: The Chinese don’t seem to like any food but their own.  Pizza restaurants, burger joints, and standard culinary styles from Italy, Mexico, Japan, India and other places that are well represented nearly everywhere else in the world all seem to fail here.  (God, I’ve missed burritos this year)  Anyway, visitors to Foreigner Street will find restaurants with pictures of pizzas and pasta emblazoned all over their doorways, and quaint-looking French cafes, as well.  Don’t be fooled — they’re Chinese noodle joints now, with almost identical menus (all noticeably lacking in anything remotely “foreign”).

And so, all western restaurants and stores inevitably close within months of opening, to be quickly replaced by Chinese tea houses, Chinese noodle shops and all the other Chongqing-style restaurants that can be found on every street in the city.  As for foreign fare, only an Indian food restaurant remains, though it’s been deserted both times I’ve visited the city, despite serving some fairly excellent curry.  Now, people only come to Foreigner Street for the ever-growing spectacle.  A miniature Great Wall twists along an entire side of the park with a replica of Rio’s Christ the Redeemer statue being erected off in the background.  There are pyramids here next to churches, and densely arranged treehouses juxtaposed against a copy of San Francisco’s twisty Lombard Street.  A disembodied pair of legs sticks out from the wall of a house that, for no particular reason, is upside down.

Beautiful Chongqing air, as seen from the window of our bus. "Chongqing always been foggy," say the locals...

Lisa had managed to track down the proper bus number, though our knowledge of bus station locations is still lacking.  The most exhilarating (and most dangerous method) of transportation in Chongqing is the motoche (pronounced moh-toh-CHIH) — “moto” is clearly lifted from western tongues, and “che” is the common Chinese word implying “vehicle.”  Just last week, one of the teachers had his leg busted in due to a motoche accident and we’d been dying to test one out ever since.  They’re not ideal for long rides, so we wouldn’t be taking one all the way to Foreigner Street, but he could at least take us the short distance from the university to the bus station.

Yet another thing to file under “fun and frightening thing I never need do again.”

The driver actually seemed quite competent, but as he zipped in and out of Chongqing’s notoriously dangerous traffic, I watched as my knees brushed within inches of cars, trucks, buses, railing and any number of other knee-cap busting paraphernalia.  Is he used to passengers with legs as long as mine, and is he taking all of the factors so pertinent to my health into account?  My guess is ‘No.’  But several minutes later, we arrive unscathed.  The bus journey is far less noteworthy, other than taking more than an hour to reach our destination in the far eastern end of Chongqing.

Foreigner Street is the final stop on our bus’s route and everyone gets dropped off at the faux Great Wall.  Roads wind off in different directions haphazardly over hilly land, making it difficult to fathom where you’re going (or where you’ve been) at any time.  It’s a large park, as well; Despite spending several hours there with Lisa, I’d discover entirely new regions of the park (like a miniature Venice) on future visits.  The pictures capture the essence of the place far better than I can describe them, but one chance encounter in the park does stand out.

As Lisa and I passed a film crew interviewing a Chinese man, the female interviewer looked up and spotted us and her eyes immediately went wide with excitement, likely due to our being the only actual foreigners in the park.  Walking away from her previous subject mid-sentence, she quickly brought her crew over to us and began talking.

Me, at the Great Wall. Sort of.

“HELLO!” she beamed, with the unnatural enthusiasm of a character from an anime cartoon.  ”Where are you FROM?”

“Meiguo,” I say.  America, in Chinese.  ”Elusi,” says Lisa.  Russia.

“OHHH.  AHH-ME-RI-CA!  Very Nice!  You are both very beautiful.  Do you like Chongqing?”

We tell her that we do.

“And,” she adds, looking at me, “Chongqing women so beautiful, do you think?”

“Ha!  Well, you’re from Chongqing, right?”

“No!” she laughs.  So much for trying to mix my answer with a compliment…

“Oh.  Well, yes.  Chongqing girls are very pretty.”

It’s not really a lie on my part, but I don’t think it’s a resounding truth either.  Lots of locals have told me that this city is famous for having some of the most beautiful women in China.  And there are indeed a lot of cute girls.  But as a teacher with students from all across the country, I really don’t see a marked difference between Chongqing and any other region, with regard to general feminine beauty.  She talks to us for a few more minutes, then says that we’ll be on a popular travel show some time in December.  I never see or hear anything more about it, but Lisa tells me that someone that works at one of her favorite restaurants saw her on TV, so I can only assume we got decent exposure.

In the end, there’s no justifiable reason why Foreigner Street should exist.  But any visit to Chongqing probably deserves a visit there.  Besides, it’s not like there are than many other tourist-friendly options around here.

Christ the Redeemer. Sort of.

A view of the park from one of its higher points

Just like Disney World, there's a daily parade of Disney characters. Unlike Disney World, this park is almost certainly not licensed to do so. Â Ditto the Incredible Hulk.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse are both almost ubiquitous here in Chongqing, though often they are listed as "Mikey" and "Minie". Whether this is to avoid trademark issues or simply bad English is uncertain.

San Francisco's Lombard Street. Again: Sort of.

Fun and racially sensitive!

New York City (sort of...), still under construction

The Upside Down House

And from the other side...

Finally, I get to see the great pyramids

Lisa and I on the sofa ride. A series of blue, plush sofas lift into the air and spin uncontrollably. It's really fun for about two minutes, followed by an additional eight minutes of nausea-inducing dizziness. I don't know if everyone gets the treatment, or if it's a torture method reserved for foreigners.

Chinglish

Large, multilingual banners and billboards are spread throughout the park with little concern for accurate translation.  Here’s a small sampling: